Thanksgiving Ideas + Help For The Controlling Hostess
Do you do a similar table and menu each year? Or are you always changing it up? Or a version of both? I’m the last one - a similar set up each year, but I change it up with the flowers, place cards, and a new recipe or two if I find something interesting and relatively easy.
I use my good china, which is an old Lenox pattern and mix it with a newer Anna Weatherly pattern. I use vintage white monogrammed linens that I have had for years, with our actual initials. A gift from my mom. And I use a combination of family silver.
It might be dressier than some, but it works for us.
Last year’s flowers on the big round table. I have a 60” round table in the dining room.
The “kids table” set up in the living room.
Here are my inspiration pictures for my florals this year…
And I think I will just do a little rosemary wreath for the place settings…
Or maybe a little wildflower posy…
As far as favorite Thanksgiving recipes, here are a few that I love, that I could find online.
This is my current favorite stuffing. It was in In Style magazine several years ago. It’s Tom Collichio’s Sausage Stuffing with Leeks & Sage.
I also love this form of sweet potatoes, instead of the casserole with marshmallows that I served for years, for the kids. It’s a Sweet Potato Spoonbread - it melts in your mouth.
And this Apple-Cream Cheese Bundt Cake is the most divine cake you’ve ever tasted. My niece made it when we ate at my brother’s one year and it was to die for. I had saved the recipe but never made it myself. Sometimes she makes it and sometimes I do.
I usually have a pecan pie, and a pear/cranberry pie, and maybe an apple or a pumpkin. This year, I have ordered pies from the most wonderful bakery here in RVA - Proper Pie Co. I’m getting a Pumpkin & Salted Caramel and a Sweet Potato Pecan Pie! Me Oh My, I Love Pie! 🎶
Are you a controlling hostess? It takes one to know one. I have a really hard time asking for help for ANY gathering or event. I’m pretty particular about things and have an idea of how I want things to go. Sad but true. Perfectionism isn’t pretty.
But when you are entertaining a large group or doing a big holiday, unless you cater it and buy the florals, it’s almost impossible to do everything yourself. Plus people want to help!
I’m sure part of this was growing up in a Southern home in the shadow of the Hostess With The Mostest, but the idea of a large unknown, foil tray situation scares me. (I know, I know - take the offering and say thank you!) What if their dishes clash with mine? Additional “palmetto cheese spread” may upset the display. Two many starches might disrupt the menu.
When guests offer to help me in the kitchen, I get nervous. I’m not a good delegator.
Usually people with this type of affliction tend to do one of two things. When asked what someone can bring, they say “Nothing - just yourselves!” or they give full instructions and an actual recipe or detailed name of a product. The second response is really only ok with best buddies or family. I have actually told people to bring whatever they want and that didn’t work either - I had 6 desserts.
(I don’t really have trouble with family stuff - we just usually tell each other what to bring, or say “bring whatever (item) you want.” It works out fine.)
So is there a happy medium? It’s really about the event and people don’t care about one too many cracker selections. (Or at least this is what our rational selves tell us, when we’re in the powder room obsessing over the play list.)
But in reality they don’t care. They are looking at your fabulous Christmas tree, or finding out who just got engaged. Or having one too many drinks!
Why don’t we try to strategically loosen our tight grip? We can be specific without being a bossy pants. Say you want some extra red wine or could use some tonic? You can ask for a salad with a protein in it. Or you can always use a bag of ice or a shrimp ball! (Those you can store if not needed.)
And if you are going to the home of a control freak like me, you could just offer something specific, and ask if that would work.
One last thing - some people like it when you go into their kitchen and start doing dishes. But most people like me, don’t. We would rather do it ourselves. So relax and enjoy yourselves!
PS - I love Palmetto Cheese. IYKYK!
PPS - For those of you who are facing your first Thanksgiving without your person, I hear you. Or your second or ninth for that matter. You will smile, though your heart is broken. And don’t feel badly if you are not feeling the gratitude. Sometimes you can feel thankful and sometimes you can’t, and as the saying goes “Gratitude is not the Tylenol of life!”